I just saw a hot homeless man
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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