I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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