I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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