I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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