Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
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Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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