break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize