My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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