maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize