my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
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just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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