Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize