no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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