So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize