It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
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Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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