she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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