just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
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just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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