They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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