i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize