yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize