it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize