I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize