They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
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New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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