just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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