3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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