The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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