No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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