Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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