the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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