The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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