One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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