In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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