3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
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It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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