I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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