Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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