I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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