he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
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Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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