I'm jealous of your bromance
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize