turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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