Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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