i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize