I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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