my sisters under your porch take her home
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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