Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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