that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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