Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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