did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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