shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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