She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Your dad touched me again.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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