Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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