maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
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chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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