what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize